A Year of Change, Questions, and Rediscovering Why I Teach

This year did not go the way I expected.

If you had asked me a year ago where I thought I would be, I would have said I would still be teaching in a Montessori classroom. Instead, I found myself starting over in a new environment, teaching fifth grade at a constructivist school for gifted learners. It was not a transition I planned, and at times it was honestly very difficult.

But teaching has a funny way of pulling you forward.

When I arrived in my new classroom, I brought with me years of Montessori experience and a deep belief that children learn best when they can explore ideas in meaningful and concrete ways. I also brought a lot of questions.

One of the biggest questions I began asking early in the year was about math.

My students were bright. Curious. Creative thinkers. But when I looked closely at their math work, I noticed something interesting. Many students could follow procedures, but when I asked them why the math worked, the answers were not always clear.

That made me wonder something simple.

What would happen if students who were used to abstract math could actually see the structure of mathematics?

So I tried something that felt both familiar and new. I introduced Montessori math materials into a gifted fifth grade classroom.

Golden beads. The stamp game. Racks and tubes.

For many of my students this was the first time they had ever seen math this way.

At first there was curiosity. Sometimes confusion. But slowly something began to change.

Students started slowing down their thinking. They began explaining their reasoning to one another. Place value was no longer just a number written on paper. It was something they could build and manipulate.

One moment in particular stuck with me.

A student paused during a lesson and said quietly, “Oh… I see it now. The math actually makes sense.”

That moment captured everything I hoped this project might become.

Over the course of several months I studied what was happening in the classroom. I looked at student work, listened carefully to their thinking, and reviewed assessment data. While the numbers showed growth, the more important change was in the way students talked about math. They were not just solving problems. They were understanding them.

This year was not easy. Starting in a new environment, navigating unexpected challenges, and continuing my own professional work through the AMS Emerging Leaders Fellowship required persistence and a lot of reflection.

But it also reminded me of something important.

Good teaching begins with curiosity.

Sometimes leadership in education is not about having the perfect plan. Sometimes it is simply about asking good questions, paying attention to students, and being willing to try something different.

I am grateful for the students who were willing to explore mathematics in a new way with me. Their curiosity made the entire experience worthwhile.

And if there is one thing I am taking with me from this year, it is this:

When students can see mathematics, they begin to understand mathematics.

And when understanding grows, confidence follows.

This year challenged me in ways I did not expect. But it also reminded me why I love this work.

Sometimes the most meaningful learning happens when things do not go exactly as planned.